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Let's Discuss... Imposter Syndrome2638

Student TParker private msg quote post Address this user
I am working with some pretty smart folks this week and trying to keep the imposter monster at bay. Anyone else?
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Top Contributor Steve private msg quote post Address this user
Whenever the imposter syndrome strikes just remember everyone is winging it.
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Member Charlene private msg quote post Address this user
One thing I keep in mind is that They wanted to work with Me. They wanted Me to be a part of the group. Therefore, I have something to offer - appreciate who They are and stop comparing myself to Them.

Really. That is what goes through my head.

Recently, a person of influence in my network approached me about being a partner in a VC group. I didn't hesitate. I said yes. At the first board meeting I realize who I am surrounded by - I see the level of success, expertise, and more that is in the room (virtual meeting space). I begin to question why the person asked me to come on board. Then I heard myself. And I stopped myself before I could become convinced that the other person was nuts for asking me to be a partner. He believed that I had something to offer. I just need to relax and be myself and all will be well. So far, it's working. I'm an active partner and we're getting things done.

It really is "all in your head". You are comparing your insides to someone else's outsides. Once you realize that they, too, experience qualms just as you do, you'll be able to move on quickly.

It also helps me to remind myself that when I feel this way I'm thinking way too much about myself and need to focus my attention on being of service to others. This helps me to get back on task, stop thinking so much, and just do the work
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Student TParker private msg quote post Address this user
Ooh, I may have to print this thread and hang it on my refrigerator. Great tips!
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Member tammysoffices private msg quote post Address this user
I belong to a networking group (eWomenNetwork - wonderful by the way) who was created by Sandra Yancey. One of the comments she likes to say is: "You cannot create a Million Dollar business hanging around minimum wage people"!

I think we all 'wing it' to some degree. As much as I really do try to be genuine and real and just who I am, there are times that I must be in the room or online with others who are further along in their success than I am. I LOVE this, but it can be intimidating also. I have to remember that often the others in the room or online feel the same way I do.

I have been given a lot more speaking opportunities lately - which terrifies me (I was always nervous to do public speaking in school - made excuses so I did not have to, in fact, b/c it terrified me so - then I married a man who became a Pastor -hehe - talk about thrust into limelight!). I am blessed that I have slowly learned more and given more opportunities slowly; am grateful.

The thing is, if we are open to these opportunities of being with those who are further in journey, etc..., we will learn so much! Remember, one day, there may be someone sitting next to you who is thinking, 'Wow, I cannot believe I am sitting next ____ (insert your name)!'. And they will be really nervous also. You will have gotten there, however, because you allowed yourself to be in the presence of others who you learned from and who shared wisdom with you.

One last comment of wisdom (not from me, but you will recognize): 'It is better to keep silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.'
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Member Iamstevenb private msg quote post Address this user
I have had impostor syndrome my whole life. I do not believe it is possible to "fix" it. I did not know it had a name until recently.

I knew I wasn't good enough to do the work "they" asked me to do. I knew they were going to figure it out, right away. Next week. I thought, maybe if I work very hard at learning, practicing, and doing the tasks I could fool them for just a few more days. So I spent my available time learning more about my job, practicing the skills I needed, and preparing to do my work. After forty years I was grateful they never figured it out.

A few years ago, as a senior systems engineering manager, I realized Impostor Syndrome had not bothered me for a while.
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Member gspieler private msg quote post Address this user
@Iamsteveb @tammyoffices @charlene These are really great posts. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and insight. Truly appreciate it. It helps.
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Site Admin Belew private msg quote post Address this user
It's a slog to be someone you are not.

If you aren't you, who's going to be you?

If you pretend to be what you aren't ... you will have to do the job you can't plus be who you aren't.
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Teacher SusanDay private msg quote post Address this user
We all suffer from imposter syndrome. I remember a big movie star with a lot of great movies and awards under her belt being terrified that she would be "found out" for being an imposter each time she was driving to a new movie set.
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Site Admin Belew private msg quote post Address this user

My last time on the movie set is when I was found out.

"You are not the real Godzilla. You are an impostor."

I slithered away.
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Site Admin Belew private msg quote post Address this user
And went to a new set in my King Kong outfit.



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Teacher SusanDay private msg quote post Address this user
@Belew lol ... looking good!
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Site Admin Belew private msg quote post Address this user
What should really be desired is that people start pretending to be you.
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Member tammysoffices private msg quote post Address this user
@SusanDay it is funny you mention the actress, b/c she really is only 'acting' and that is her job - her job is to be a 'Pretender'! She must have been doing it pretty well if she was getting movies to appear in at the time.

@belew too funny - what a shame you were found out! Can I borrow the costumes? hehe

I agree, we should first be FREE enough to be Ourselves and honest enough with ourselves to know when we are not being ourselves. The real #truth is that not being who you are meant to be is an area of #bondage - a prison in which you are always comparing yourself to others - with no chance of escape, b/c in your mind's eye you will never fully measure up to their success.

On the other hand, when you allow yourself to be who you were meant to be and are #Free to be real, genuine and walk the walk you were meant to walk, that is where you find True #Success my friends! And not only that, but that is where you will also find that you will not care what the others think about you!

The irony here is that, once you are Free to be the person you were always meant to be, then others want to be and be around you.
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